I was surprised when someone handing me a bag called me "ma'am" -
surprised that I wasn't offended, that is -
though I should be
still wondering
where, and why, something seemed taller about me

For a girl at a women's college,
and I am one, mind you, or when I graduate I'll have been one,
I can't say I'm really the womanly type
but I'm not a child, please not a child, not JUST a girl but - this! - A GIRL!

a girly girl?
I'm not a curly girl
I'm not a scandalous girl
I don't wear flashy tights, don't show much flesh either
not a booky glasses-only girl
not all shadow girl either
don't want to be, anyway - don't want to be all fallen and angry
but not rainbow girl either, not hippy
checker and plaid still mean fun dress, not normal not-normal-girl dressing-down dress
collars don't work and hoods annoy me and no one will call me sporty
or preppy
not cheerful girl either

well, "bother!"
to that
but even here I can't pull that one off
not such posh, not party girl either

So, embarrassed by lists, I say I'm glad I'm not really a child
but something about the word "woman" still repels me
too fleshy? too me-me? or am I just not ready yet?

at any rate, I mostly just want to have grown
and I think I'm a girl! a girl, anyhow
I don't even care much for those swirly terms yet
but I don't want to repeat that out loud too much
because that doesn't make me really unchildlike, does it?